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Halloween: Mischief, Mayhem and… Sex?

Halloween is only a few short weeks away, and since no fewer than three Halloween stores have popped up in previously-empty spaces in downtown Glendale, Derek and I have understandably been talking and thinking about our own Halloween plans.

However, every time I walk by one of those stores, I start to feel really uneasy. In addition to the neon-painted windows and tombstone-ridden window displays, a variety of posters cover all outside surfaces:

Is this what I’m expected to wear? I mean, we’re thinking about going to West Hollywood, so the party’s probably going to be fairly raunchy, but… do I really need to expose so much? I mean, with the way some of these costumes look, I’d be better off just wearing a bathing suit (and I’d save a bunch of money doing it, I own 5 swimsuits already).

Last year, I decided I wanted to be an alien geisha for Halloween (don’t ask, there’s a long story behind it, haha), so when some of my friends and I went to a Halloween costume store, I knew what to keep an eye out for. After searching the racks and hundreds of costumes pinned up on the walls, I found five or so geisha costumes… but I couldn’t wear any of them. Only one didn’t qualify as what one of my best friends describes as “hoe in a bag.” They all had super-plunging necklines, skirts that would make my mother disown me and, of course, heels you could break an ankle (or two) in. The only decent one, which left any part of the wearer to the imagination, was plus-sized.

So, essentially, if you want to be modest in your Halloween costume selection, you have to be above a certain size. (I have nothing against plus-sized figures; I just don’t have one.) Otherwise, you can choose between being a slut or cutting holes in old bedsheets and calling yourself a ghost.

What about us skinny girls who feel like keeping some things between ourselves and our boyfriends? Or who have some sense of modesty? Are we supposed to just throw our values, our morals, our decency, out the window just because it’s Halloween?

To quote Mean Girls:

Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. The hard-core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.

Why is this? I mean, there have been sexy Halloween parties for decades. But when did those parties, usually within a group of friends, migrate and multiply and morph into glorified, not-quite-on-cable-TV soft core porn? (Oh god, I’m going to get so much spam from this entry.) When did it become normal for Halloween costume stores to have more slutty costumes for adult women than cutesy costumes for little kids? Why can’t adult women, with a certain body type, enjoy this holiday, dress up in a nice costume, and not have to look like a complete slut?

Guess I have to go find some old bedsheets. :P

Twittiquette

Twitter truly is a nifty invention. Friends can keep track of each others’ one-line musings in practically real time (depending on your refresh rate and/or how often you visit the site) and you can voice your opinion/feelings/life without having to write an entire blog entry. It’s extremely nifty. Plus its use of Ruby on Rails (which my company also uses) is pretty revolutionary, even if it’s not entirely perfected. Needless to say, Twitter has a soft spot in my heart, and I signed up pretty much the instant I heard about it (November 25, 2006, holy crap!). Since then, I’ve accumulated 163 followers, 92 people I’m following and almost 1,500 tweets. It’s not a huge number, there are plenty of people with more of all three. But I’m definitely no stranger to the Twitter game.

I’ve seen, been followed by and even sometimes followed pretty much every type of Twitter-er that could have existed. Men, women, moms, dads, college-agers, senior citizens, well-known bloggers, not-so-well-known bloggers, close friends, friends from high school, a gorgeous actress who eats at my Cheesecake Factory ( ;* ), Mrs. New York (I think?), coders, gamers and even Darth Vader. I’d like to posit that, when it comes to Twitter, I’ve seen it all.

Including some stuff that I wish I hadn’t really seen.

Unless you’ve protected your updates, Twitter is visible to the entire world. And, unfortunately, it hasn’t adopted the easy-to-switch public/private mode functionality that some sites, such as BrightKite, have, so you can’t just tell Twitter to hide just this one tweet. This is one of Twitter’s major flaws, and why I don’t really use it to talk about personal things (which is why I usually have pretty few tweets on weekends). It’s all or nothing — either everything’s protected, or everything’s out in the open. It’s all at your discretion. And that’s the important part: discretion.

My general rule of thumb when writing tweets for Twitter is that if I don’t want my boss, coworkers, mom or younger sister to read it, I’m not going to write it. They all have access to it, and I know my boss and a few of my coworkers are pretty big Twitter addicts, in fact. There are some things they really don’t need (or want) to know. Perfect strangers, as probably a good third of my followers are, need to know these things even less. That’s where my level of discretion comes in.

Now, some people feel comfortable sharing these kinds of things with their friends, coworkers, family, etc. Maybe they even feel comfortable broadcasting these things to the entire world. I can’t control other people. The only numbers I can control on my Twitter page are the number of tweets and the number of people I follow. So I’ve got a system in place. It’s not a very strict system, by any means, but it’s a system.

Basically, if I can think of three times when your tweets have either offended me or grossed me out, I’m not going to follow you anymore. I pretty much follow anyone who adds me, at least to get a feel for who they are, unless it’s obvious that they never, ever update or are just a total spammer. But if I get a tweet that makes my stomach churn or makes me feel unreasonably uncomfortable, and I can think of two (or more, since I’m actually pretty lax about all of this) of your tweets that initiated a similar reaction, I’m not going to follow you anymore. Regardless of what kind of relationship I’ve had with you in the past, or how helpful you’ve been to me or vice-versa, I’m not going to follow you anymore.

So what kind of things will get you un-followed?

• Violence. I’m pretty much a pacifist. Sure, we all get a little angry from time to time, but I’m not going to sit by and watch as you kick puppies or strangle kittens. Or something. No one’s ever been kicked off my list for violence. Yet.
• TMI. If you’ve protected your updates, and only post these sorts of things to people you’re close to, I probably won’t mind too much. But if you’re telling everyone on Twitter (and beyond) intimate details of your sex life or the inner workings of your bowels, I’m not going to keep reading it. Regardless of my own sensitive stomach, there are some things that should just be kept in your household or immediate circle of friends.
• Spousal squabbles. I’m a huge believer in the power of communication and talking out arguments. I’m also trying every day to be less passive-aggressive in my relationship with Derek. Passive-aggression just doesn’t belong in a romantic relationship. And passive-aggression includes tweeting detailed accounts of your SO’s shortcomings. If he doesn’t want to help around the house, talk to him about it. If she’s spending way too much money from your paycheck, talk to her about it. Talk directly to your SO. Do not put it on Twitter. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. If you love them, talk to them. I’m not going to sit idly by and watch you passive-aggressively berate the person you claim to love and have an adult relationship with.
• “Legit” Spamming. There are tons of tools out there to let your Twitter followers know when you’ve blogged, what music you’re listening to, your precise location, when you’ve added a photo to your Flickr, etc., etc., etc. You really, REALLY don’t need to use all of them on one Twitter account. I don’t want a play-by-play of every photo you’ve added. Just tweet that you’ve added photos. I don’t want to know you’ve listened to the same song five times in a row. Just tweet that you like the song. I don’t want to know that you’ve posted the same entry to four different blogs. Just tweet that you’ve updated your blog(s), and give a link to your favorite at the moment.

Like I mentioned, my three-strikes policy is pretty lenient. Usually I’ll just let it go, even if I can remember more than a few times where this has happened. But in some cases, and I won’t point out names even though at least one of the people recently un-followed will probably accuse me of being passive aggressive for doing so, it just. keeps. happening. But it doesn’t have to. You don’t have to lose followers, good followers who are willing to help you out when you need someone to Google a product’s ingredients while you’re at the supermarket, good followers who will tweet you the address of that restaurant you’re supposed to meet your friends at!

Please, Twitter-ers new and old alike. Please, remember the word of the day when writing your tweets: Discretion. It will get you far.

Kermit was wrong…

…it’s actually fairly easy to be green. And it’s getting easier.

Yesterday, we got a flier in the mail from our electric company, Glendale Water and Power, about their new Green Partners Program. The Green Partners Program allows Glendale residents to elect to receive their power from green sources of energy — i.e. wind and solar power plants, specifically, for Glendale, the Pebble Spring wind project. Residents have to pay a fixed premium, which is a little more expensive than the normal, variable rate (by about 3¢ per kWh), but will not change for the next five years (while the variable rate is predicted to go up at least 12.3%/year).

I read over the flier, then brought it up to Derek — we’re both 100% on board, so within the next few weeks, we’ll be switching to 100% renewable, green energy sources!

The flier got me thinking about all of the new options being presented to consumers across the board. I understand that renewable energy sources are not an option for everyone, some places just don’t offer them just yet. But there are tons of other ways to help and contribute to a better environment and sustainable planet. Here are a few Derek and I have been looking into and/or converting to.

• Buy organic fruit and veggies. Organics don’t use pesticides, and many organic farms are also committed to using sustainable farming practices — meaning one particular field can be used a lot longer than with conventional practices.
• Buy environmentally sustainable furniture. Oftentimes, even the most die-hard conservationists overlook one of the largest pieces of their homes. While looking for a sofa for our living room, Derek and I came across EcoSofaDesign. The sofas are fully customizable, made from recycled and sustainable materials and still super stylish! (We’re looking at the Verona, in a nice sage/avocado green.)
• Use public transit and/or walk when you can. Not having a car or license has challenged me to find other ways to get around town, and in Los Angeles, it’s probably a lot more difficult than in most other large cities. For some people, it’s practically impossible to get somewhere without having a car — my parents, for example, live two miles outside of the nearest town. So, driving is a necessity in some cases. But do you have to drive to every single stop along the way? Head to a city or town center, park the car and walk around for your errands. Walk to lunch from work. Use the “park and ride” lots to take the bus downtown. Save gas, cut down emissions and, if you can squeeze in some walking, help your health in the meantime!
• Freezing? Turn off the A/C! Sometimes during the summer, I see people complain that they’re freezing, that their air conditioning is too cold. Well, turn it off then! Derek and I live, essentially, in a desert. It hasn’t rained here since at least May, maybe earlier (I can’t even remember!) and temperatures in Glendale routinely hit the high 80s/low 90s. And yet only one of our air conditioners is on all the time (for Sammie chinchilla, who can’t survive at temps above 75F). The other two are on for short bursts, if at all. We set the timer on the air conditioner in the bedroom before we go to bed; it turns off after 1-2 hours. The one in the living room is on “energy saver” at 75F when we’re at home — meaning it cycles on and off every couple of hours. Of course, if it’s a little warmer, we might be a little more liberal with the a/c, but 95% of the time, it’s either off or using one of the methods above.

Going 100% green is not the easiest decision — even Kermit knows that. It involves paying a bit more out of pocket in some places (such as buying organic foods) and going out of your way and normal routine (park and ride/walk). Many people can’t commit to going 100% green, it’s just not feasible, affordable or available. In fact, only a very slight few can actually be 100% green 100% of the time. Kudos to them, but we’re real people. We make mistakes, we have jobs that make it impossible, we’re not perfect. But everyone can do a little bit to help — after all, every little bit counts, right?