Sick, sick, sick.
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate being sick?
If I haven’t, or if you missed it, let me say it loud and clear right here. I hate being sick.
Monday night I went out to dinner with some friends and then watched The Fall at our friend Ben’s place. (It’s a gorgeous movie, especially if you have a chance to watch it in the theater, which I did the first time I saw it, or on blu-ray, which I did the second time I saw it.) Maybe halfway through the movie, my throat starts hurting. Bleh. I assume it’s from my allergies (everything in LA is blooming right now, geez). By the time I get home, it’s pretty painful, so I take some Tylenol, it feels better, I go to bed.
Wake up the next morning, and I can barely breathe, my throat hurts so badly and my nose is completely stuffed, and I’m all over really achey. That’s a little worse than just allergies. So I call in sick to work and spend the day drinking tea with honey, napping, watching some TV and teaching myself to knit. All stress-free, relaxing stuff.
Wednesday morning I wake up feeling quite a bit better, so I go into work. I’m fine for most of the day and even part of the evening, so I go to Hollywood with some friends to watch improv. By the end of the night, I’m feeling pretty sick again, and, once again, I wake up the next morning (today) feeling really gross and sore.
Whenever I get sick, I constantly feel dirty and sticky. It gets so bad that I just randomly get up from whatever I’m doing and wash my hands. Or I’ll force myself to take a shower or bath. Randomly. Sometimes twice a day. I feel gross.
And to make matters worse, now that I have a job, it starts to wreak havoc on my mind when I’m sick and can’t do work. I check my emails (via iPhone or webmail) and start freaking out. I’m letting the whole team down, my irrational mind screams. I can’t be sick! I have to feel better now! We have a release next week!
Today, I even got up out of bed, after checking the emails and subsequently freaking out, and tried to pull some clothes on and make myself go to work… but when I started feeling a little dizzy and weak while brushing my hair and getting ready in the bathroom, I knew I was pushing it. The last thing I need is to pass out in the middle of the office.
Sometimes I think that my work ethic will be my downfall. I’m absolutely paranoid about being a bottleneck, or letting someone down, or not giving 100%. To the point that, when I’m sick, it makes me even sicker by stressing me out more. Bleh.
How’s spring treating everyone else so far?

