What is Lianhua?

Lianhua (Mandarin for ‘lotus flower’) follows my quest to live life without wanting, anger or gluten… which is not always easy, even in a health- and philosophy-conscious place like San Francisco. Every day, I try to live by three principles: “do not harm the world,” “do not harm yourself” and “enjoy life as it is.” Lianhua is where I share my ups and downs, triumphs and frustrations, little bits of wisdom and the occasional chinchilla photo…

“As a lotus flower is born in water, grows in water and rises out of water to stand above it unsoiled, so I, born in the world, raised in the world having overcome the world, live unsoiled by the world” – Buddha Sakyamuni

And who am I?

I am Jess.

My name is Jess. That much I know for sure. But I’m unsure of some of the other things that make me who I am right now…

Somehow, I’ve found myself suddenly in my mid-twenties, gluten intolerant and yearning for an understanding of how I’m supposed to be living my life – or at least some confidence that I’m doing an okay job of it.

I am a San Franciscan.

As I mentioned above, I live in San Francisco; I moved here in April 2010. San Francisco is breathtaking even on the worst of days – I consistently find myself in awe of it, and in disbelief that this is actually my city. However, it is a huge adjustment for me. This is my first time living actually within a very real and urban city – I lived in Los Angeles for a little while but, believe me, this a whole other story – so I’m still exploring how this enormous change is trickling down into the most seemingly-minor aspects of my life.

I am loved.

With me in this beautiful city are my boyfriend, Derek, and my chinchilla, Sammie. Together, they keep me smiling and mostly sane. Not with me in this city is practically an entire city of its own comprised of my friends and family scattered across the country, mostly in Indiana (where I grew up), New York (where I went to college) and Los Angeles (where I started looking for myself).

I am gluten intolerant.

A very big caveat: I am not a celiac; I have not tested positive for celiac disease. However, gluten causes very similar reactions within my body, meaning that I have what people are calling “non-celiac gluten intolerance/sensitivity.” Gluten, for those of you unfamiliar with it, is found in grains such as wheat, barley and rye and their byproducts (biggest example being wheat/white flour). While I am not as sensitive as some people, eating as little as one small fritter can cause me a week of gastro-intestinal distress (please do not make me explain it any further than that), moodswings/emotional fluctuations and skin rashes (on my elbows mostly). It’s not pleasant, and it’s not easy, but I’m learning how to live with it.

I am Buddhist.

… although I don’t think I’m very good at it yet. I’ve been identifying as Buddhist since around 2004, and have recently started getting more serious about practicing it in my daily life. I am very knowledgeable of the history and various methodologies of Buddhism, and feel there is always more to learn about it. A few weeks after moving to San Francisco, I discovered a Buddhist temple two blocks from my apartment, which I’ve taken as a sign that I need to adhere to its teachings more reliably (perhaps even more religiously…? har har).

I am a pretty big nerd.

I work as a designer/product manager/front-end developer for a small startup software company here in the Bay Area – it’s actually the reason that we all packed up and moved to San Francisco – and I adore my job. So much so that I completely thrust my entire self into it on a near-daily basis, and end up being absolutely exhausted by the time I come home – this explains my frequent use of premade themes. Judge if you will, but you’ll never understand it unless you have been in my shoes.