Lianhua.nu

‘Round Midnight 4

It’s becoming tradition. Every year since 2007, on New Year’s Day (or thereabouts) I’ve written a little post talking about all of the things that happened in the past year. (See previous years in review: 2006, 2007, 2008.)

Looking back on them is always an interesting experience. It’s kind of amazing to see how far I’ve come in the past four years, and fun to imagine what will change in the next year (hopefully good things!).

Anyway, without further babbling from me, here’s 2009 in review!

January – the month of friendships – Began to expand my social circle when Derek started working swing shift; found out about a few friends’ pregnancies; got U-Verse – actual television for the first time in like two years!; met up with my parents in Vegas
February – the month of reflection – Celebrated one year with Derek; got really into blogging pretty regularly; began thinking about the past and starting to grow from it.
March – the month of growing pains – Found out I was going to be an aunt; watched my younger sister start planning her wedding; started getting sick more often.
April – the month of missing you – Lost my great-grandmother; turned 23; continued to keep getting sick.
May – the month of admitting the problem – Realized my sicknesses were being caused mostly by psychological issues; began seeing a psychiatrist; pretty much hit rock bottom as far as being depressed and hating life. Not a good month.
June – the month of facing the problem – Started Lexapro for anxiety and depression; began biweekly therapy sessions with the psychiatrist.
July – the month of improving & looking ahead – Started feeling better for the first time in ages; began looking forward to the family vacation; Derek turned 29.
August – the month of family – Went to Florida with Derek and my family; met my little cousin, Alexis, for the first time; began to realize how much I love my grandmother and hope to be like her when I’m older; began to face some of the issues related to feeling out of place among my siblings.
September – the month of learning to live again – Started talk therapy with the psychiatrist; explored how I was living my life and what was important to me and Derek in our living situation; found out my ex was moving to China and tried to work out how I felt about it; met up with my parents and grandparents in Vegas.
October – the month of kiddies – especially RORY! – My niece, Lorelai, was born the day before my brother (her daddy) turned 28; decided to start volunteering at Kidspace; visited my friends in New York
November – the month of thankfulness – Withdrew from the online world a little to focus myself on life; spent a wonderful Thanksgiving with Derek and his family
December – the month of “home is where the heart is” – Stayed a week with my brother in Indiana; met Rory, finally, and fell in love – she’s the best niece ever!; visited my parents and grandparents; then came home to my Derek again… and my home.

Overall, this year was a lot less eventful than last year – that is for sure – but it was still a really important year. I dealt with a lot of things this year, a lot of very difficult things, even. But I’m already feeling so much stronger than this time last year, and I know I can only get stronger from here.

I’m looking forward to starting 2010. Farewell, 2009.

‘Round Midnight 3

Welcome to 2009! :)

For the past two years, I’ve written posts called “‘Round Midnight,” where I talk about what happened through each month in the previous year. Imagine my surprise in the past few days to see this happening across many of my friends’ blogs!

Did mine start as a meme? I can’t remember. But it’s definitely a Lianhua tradition, and I’m pretty excited about doing it again this year!

2008 in Review!

• January – the month of heartache: my grandmother passed away; Sean arrived in LA and we immediately started having problems; started couples’ counseling.
• February – the month of ripping off the band-aid: forced Sean to make the ultimate decision on our relationship during counseling; re-instated my OkCupid profile and began dating; met two guys – an investment banker of sorts and Derek; fell in love with Derek. :)
• March – the month of young love: kept falling more in love with Derek; traveled with him to San Francisco and met his younger brother, Brenton; traveled with Miana (Sean’s little sister) to Vancouver to visit her mom; my sister got engaged.
• April – the month of growing: turned 22; traveled to Vancouver with Miana again; ultimately realized that I could not live in Sean’s mom’s house with him still living there; officially moved in with Derek; put in an application at a recruiting company but never got called back.
• May – the month of boosting self-confidence: my aunt gave birth to my newest little cousin, Alexis; applied for a job at YellowPages.com and got an interview on my own; passed the interviews and got the job within a week; traveled to New York with Derek and my parents; participated in Sarah Lawrence College’s 2008 commencement ceremony with my classmates; started my new job.
• June – the month of working hard for the money: worked, worked, worked; hunted for apartments.
• July – the month of the new apartment: moved to our apartment in Glendale with Derek; worked, worked, worked.
• August – the month of old friends: Emily & Warlock came to visit; celebrated 6 months with Derek; worked, worked, worked.
• September – the month of older love: attended my older brother’s wedding (yay!); started writing in my blog again after 3 months of absence; worked, worked, worked.
• October – the month of good friends: hosted a very successful dinner party for some of our closest/best friends; went to Halloween in West Hollywood with a relatively new friend and her very new boyfriend; worked, worked, worked.
• November – the month of new ‘family:’ spent my first Thanksgiving with Derek’s family; got a new laptop (refurbished previous generation black MacBook); realized I was getting “soft” when 70ºF felt cold; went to Disneyland with Kelly.
• December – the month of togetherness: went to Disneyland again with Derek, Kelly and Steve; went to Six Flags Magic Mountain with Derek; spent Christmas (and the weeks leading up to it and following it) at Christmas parties, family dinners, unsponsored holiday happy hours, shopping trips, game nights… surrounded by friends, new family, old friends, coworkers, and the love of my life.

I couldn’t be more grateful for this year. It was definitely a year of transition, and there were a lot of rough or stressful or difficult times, but I’m so happy to be where I am, surrounded by the people I see every day, that it makes every little “bad” patch seem so insignificant. This — this life I have now — is where I’ve wanted to be for such a long time. I didn’t know that so much would have to happen before I could be in this place — but it was worth it.

So worth it.

Happy New Year!

Milestone

This is my 302nd post, according to my WordPress dashboard. That’s a lot of posts, since I first started using WordPress on Hello Toby way back when.

But there’s an even bigger milestone coming up very soon.

Saturday, December 27th, 2008 marks the official one year anniversary of my move to Los Angeles from New York.

On December 27, 2007, at 10:00am PST, I touched down at Los Angeles International Airport and started a new life, completely different from the one I’d been living — and entirely different from the one I have now. I walked out of LAX thinking I was here to live with the guy I wanted to spend my life with, I was here to finish my Bachelor’s degree while learning a language I was desperate to speak, I was here to take care of his younger sister in his mother’s home and permanently implant myself into this family, further securing a future I desperately wanted at the time.

And now, almost a year later, I lay in a bed in an apartment I’d never dreamed of, in a town I’d never been to (and certainly didn’t want to live in), trying to fall asleep so that I can be awake tomorrow for a job I never thought I could possibly get, next to a boyfriend I’d never expected to have who gives me the kind of love I never thought I’d receive — or deserve.

And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself: self, how did I get here?

(That’s from the Talking Heads’ Once in a Lifetime, p.s.)

So how did I get here? I guess the long answer has something to do with the breakup with Sean, which basically got the ball rolling on a lot of this, and with the “growing up” that I did as a direct result of it, and with meeting Derek, who helped the ball rolling on just about everything else I have going on in my life. But the short answer is… I’m still myself trying to figure out how the hell I got here.

And I guess that’s okay. As long as it’s working, I don’t have to know how I got here, right? I’m still going to look back and wonder how it all fell into this particular place, but I’m definitely not complaining or anything, because right now I couldn’t be happier with the place I’ve fallen into.

Happy First Birthday, Los Angeles Jess. Now get some sleep; AT&T Interactive needs your bright and shining face in the morning.